I feel like a failure as a mommy. Why is it so hard to have kids? What happen to the "cookie cutter" ones?
Katy is absolutely a different child than she was a year ago. Why? Is it because of dad dying? She always seemed fine? She won't talk to anyone, even the socail worker. I know she was close to her papa. Is it the ADHD? Can it make her such a different child? We are really struggling with meds, and finding a good dose? It is expensive though, even though the insurance copay is only $20.00, if you keep changing that or the doses it adds up. They are going to test her for dyslexia in the spring. Will this make her so upset and make homework batteles seem 10x worse? She screams at her sisters constantly, and us. She seems to throw these 2 year old tantrums when she doesn't get her way, which she rolls herself into a ball and cries. It is like a complete meltdown. Her grades are still good, all A's and B's. She is good at school. I worry about Katy everyday. I feel like her self esteem is a little lower than her sisters. Not sure if that is because of some of the girls in her class. I know some of the girls give her a hard time because she is a tomboy, and not a girly girl like them.
Yesterday was just my mommy meltdown day. Sam woke up early and then didn't nap. I saw that she was at her wits end. My mom came over and needed me to take her to the store. Bailey and Sam wanted to go with her. I tried to get Sam to stay here, but she cried and nana gave in. So I knew moms back would be hurting worse if she took Sam, So Katy and I went too. Katy threw a fit because she had to get off the Wii. She cried and rolled herself into the ball again. We get to teh store and she is in a crappy mood, Sam won't sit in the cart. Bailey is fine and just happy go long. Katy keeps asking for stuff. Got really bad when I told her no to a stuffed animal. You have to earn toys, and that behavior wasn't earning it. So almost done, and Samantha just loses it. she is tired and just had it. It was 7:30 at night. She threw a 2 year tantrums. I took her and Katy out of the store with Sam kicking and screaming. Put her in her carseat, which was a struggle. She screamed for a good while, and Katy cried. I stood outside of the car. till mom got there. I just had too much. I put them to bed when we came home.
What am I doing wrong. I don't know what to do with Katy. I feel like I have failed her. What do I need to do? Maybe I need a parenting book?
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3 comments:
Hey Wendy....I am sure you are feeling very overwelmed right now but you need to remember that you are an amazing mom! Katy is just at an age where she is trying to figure out what her purpose is. Unfourtunetly this is a long process. This is no excuse for her behavior but maybe you can understand a bit more. The 6 year old I watch has been really testing the waters with her parents ALOT lately and they also wonder where they went wrong. Your kids will make you question this alot but don't let them bet you down!! Be strong and stand your ground and know that it time that will work!
But with Katy it might be more then just age like you were saying such as her ADHD, I hope that you guys can get the right meds and things can calm down soon. Just know that you ARE doing your best and your best IS good enough!!
Take care Wendy!
(((Wendy))) I feel your pain. I have days when I feel the same. Sending lots of prayers your way.
Wendy, you are doing all the right things. Just keep standing your ground... the second you let her get away with behaviors, she'll use it against you. See if you can get a case manager for her thru the social worker... The more structure you give her, I think it'll help. She's your sensory girl, right? Nick needs an insane amt of structure.
In the meantime, it's time for YOU to find a night or two where you can skip out for a few hours.
::sending loves and hugs::
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